My mama sent me Michelle L. Dozois’s Smarter Living piece in the New York Times this morning where she reviews a bit about what hygge is and offers four items (slippers, a dutch oven, mini-lights, and a dog bed) that can help “you have a hygge winter.”

Dozois’s piece is short and is primarily focused on the things that are “necessary” for hygge, but I’m more focused on how I can achieve it. Don’t get me wrong, things definitely augment hygge and make it even more fun, but the things themselves are not it.

Dozois links to another piece published last year by Judith Newman, “Hygge is where the heart is,” which I thoroughly enjoyed as she delves a bit deeper into the meaning of hygge. Newman quotes Signe Johansen who wrote that “jettison[ing] the anxieties and clutter of modern living to free up your time and energy to make the most of life” is at the root of hygge, and ultimately the root of your happiness.

So how do we do that – how do we jettison anxiety and clutter? I’ve tried to break down my process for how I’ve been getting rid of anxiety and feeling happy and hyggeligt:

• The first step is accepting that it takes effort. No one – at least no one I know – is 100% happy 100% of the time while doing 0% work.
• The second step is identifying when we feel anxious, cluttered, overwhelmed, annoyed, or any other feeling that is less than ideal.
• The third step is facing those feelings and committing to rectifying them.
  • Pause here: when you determine how to rectify anxious feelings pay close attention to what it is you’re choosing to do and why. Are you hanging out with friends? Are you listening to music? Do you need to be in a particular place? Do you need to be alone? Tracking your habits will help you to more easily and more quickly shift your perspective when you need to de-clutter in the future.
• The fourth step is executing your plan for quelling anxiety and clutter.
• The fifth step is feeling gratitude – gratitude to yourself for taking the time to focus on what you needed.

Perhaps a real-life example will help. Today, I got to work late because I had to renew my license at the DMV before it expires – because, in classic form, I waited till the last second – and so I knew I’d likely be leaving later than usual. I had a few things that I wanted to get done after work and was a little worried I wasn’t going to get to them all – including going to the grocery store, getting a workout in, making dinner, and practicing my violin (her name is Leppy and I will write more on this in future posts).

When I was ready to leave at 7pm, I was exhausted, hungry and tired. I wanted someone to make me dinner and do all of the items on my list for me. A recipe for anxiety and clutter.

But then, I triggered my process: (Step 1) I told myself to stop living in an alternate universe – no one was going to make me dinner – and that if I wanted to feel fulfilled, I’d need to buck up. Then I prioritized my list of after-work-curriculars to determine what I needed to do to feel least anxious (read: most happy) and what I could do without (Steps 2 and 3). And then I enacted my list – I went to the grocery store, treated myself to the dinner items that I was craving, came home and made dinner, and wrote this post (Step 4). I reflected on the evening and didn’t regret my choices, I was grateful that I listened to what my body needed to eat and not what it may have wanted to eat, and for enjoying the process (Step 5). I had fun along the way because I had freed myself from the things that weren’t going to help me feel hyggelight and happy and focused on the ones that I knew would.

After dinner, I made some tea and my “fortune” (for those other Yogi tea lovers out there, you know what I mean) was: “Happiness is an accomplishment.” I laughed out loud. How perfect?

Happiness – and hygge – don’t just happen. To experience these things is to be in tune with yourself and your surroundings and honest about how you feel. Don’t apologize, don’t wish your feelings away – accept them, honor them, and determine what you will do with them. Try to identify what makes you feel anxious and what your mind tells you to do to combat it. No one solution is right for everyone, and no one solution will work for you every time.

Trust yourself, trust your journey and remember that you have the power to create your own happiness 100% of the time.

Ω

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This is the tea I referenced & I highly recommend (soft and sweet yet spicy)